Jason will always be in my heart

I know I blogged before about moving on and all that crap but I wasn't being honest with myself or other people I was trying so hard to denied my feeling towards Jason I try to hide but in reality Jason is always going to have a special place in my heart he was after all my  first love of course I can't just hate him and move on. I use to feel depress knowing Jason would never be mine never look at me with affection I knew I would never be the girl he would call his girlfriend.

And you know what I am totally okay with that :) okay see the thing is before my senior year when I was being a junior Jason was dating his girlfriend Maria and he made sure he rubbed it in he had a girlfriend wherever I was he was too and his girlfriend so I was depress and longed to be Maria because he was with Maria but then senior year came and everything changed.

See I had to take summer school two reason One because I didn't want to be home Second I wanted to make my geometry grade go up so I went and during the summer I told I liked him no matter what he said he knew then at summer school we hanged out and our summer school romances began and I love every minute of it.

But then school began and I was happy to know Jason wasn't dating anyone so we continuing our little flirt but then he did get a girlfriend and I was sad but I was too busy to notice the pain but then I remember the pain wasn't that bad anymore but tolerable then he broke up with her but then I was still very busy with my school work and internship I didn't have time to notice again but when I did have time I would try to get his attention but not making it to obvious.

So then my internship ended and I had all my school on top so I had time to notice Jason more but the thing was I wasn't bitter with Jason I wasn't mad or sad I was shockingly happy for Jason? Yeah I know why?! well because I was happy for Jason and I wasn't bitter girl I am happy for Jason no matter what.

May 27, 2013 my birthday and there was one person I wanted to say happy birthday and it was Jason duh and I was happy he did say happy birthday to me it made my day and I felt different or so I say I felt something else then grad nite May 28, 2013 that feeling of different and then I realize something why I felt different towards Jason and everything.

Its because I came with conclusion that I love Jason aha I know crazy right? but its true I will always love Jason no matter what and will never be mad at him or stay mad at him and that no matter what I can't cut him out my life and he will always have a special place in my heart.

So yes people I am crazy..crazy in love with Jason and will always :) I know we can't be together but doesn't mean I can't love him.

and I know he won't see this but "I love you Jason" <3