Well guys I'm back! it feels like forever since I actually blog, for that I am sorry. Mainly I'm on twitter unleashing my anger on the world aha so anyway I am 19 now funny I started to blog when I was 17 and now here I am 19 I feel so old. Anyway while I was gone I still have many problems in my life mainly "My Parents" I'm starting to think they really do hate me, you see I still haven't got sign up for college nor gone my driving license mainly: I suck at test taking its not like my stupid I just have a hard time taking test. Though if you ask my dad he would say I'm stupid..maybe he's right I don't know anymore. Anyway!! so because of those reasons my parents have deed me stupid,useless,ungrateful and lazy, funny thing I'm the one who wash their clothes and fold them and put them away yet I'm still lazy?
So that's my main problem and you know I am only human I do have feelings and if anything they should know how emotional disturb I am, but no if anything they use that and call me a drama queen or cry baby.I do hard not to cry because it gives them power and that's power I don't want to give them. Like I said I'm only human I'm bound to have a few tears slip here and there though I feel like crying all the time because how they treat me. Its like I'm a stranger living in the house and no one wants me around because I'm the stranger, even my own little sister tells me cruel things like our parents.
I thought about death...I thought maybe it could set me free from my prison, but then I think I don't want to die when there is so much I haven't seen or done that I'm not ready for that I want to live! See I get confident for a second then go back to my depressing mood, my parents aren't even trying to get me a job at this point I'm applying for any job just to get a job just to prove I'm something not a stranger living in their house for free. I'm trying so hard to get a job I'm really am but not much is open where I live, I thought about leaving California and heading to Washington. I have always wanted to live there but then I think there's nothing there for me when I have nothing in my pockets.
I also thought about leaving to England ahah funny huh? but that's a place I wanted to live too I have a friend living there and thought maybe I could live with him but then again I have to money to pay for a ticket there or have a passport which also costs a lot of money and to have all my stuff shipped there I just don't know anymore. My parents helped my brother get a job took him to college got all the classes he needed and drove him there but me? no I have to figure all that by myself and I am so lost and trying to hard to find the answers. My little sister thinks its funny it probably is funny.
I'm just a joke to my family my age doesn't even get me respect anymore no one cares about me only that I'm failing in life, it could be worse I could be knocked up or do drugs but no I'm in my room day and night either cleaning or reading but still I am the villain
