Envy
So I was talking to Jason yesterday and the day before that but the thing is the conservation started at 1 in the morning and the conversation was quite irritating me because Jason was taunting me for being pure and telling me how he knows it all I don't know why but I got mad and kind of envy of him?
CRAZY right! Why would I Elizabeth Rajni Gaur would be envy of some boy whose been fucking the entire school but I wasn't envy of that I was envy of him because he was not a virgin again I know I should be proud of myself I am not a slut who sleeps around but I can't help but feel weird of me being pure still I'm 18 year old.
Hell people my age have been fucking since they were 14 probably anyway I can't help but feel envy towards Jason for this and the other people but I can't just go out and lose it its a fucking painful thing the first time!!! its not something I am up for on the moment but there are time where I thought I should just lose it.
But then I remember they aren't many girls like me my favorite "You a virgin? they still make those" I can wait for the right time I can't go looking for it when the time comes it comes until then I will chill and ignore the boy I love all so much. Ah Jason I would give him for you but deep in my gut I just know I can't...at least not yet anyway ;p
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