Feeling...

I suppose I'm being a cry baby right now and maybe I am a cry baby always complaining, I don't know where my head is sometimes and confuse half the time well that just I'm confuse half the time yet I still get stuff done. Not only am I feeling confused but very pissed off I don't know I just fine myself getting mad at everything and everyone, like everyone is pissing me off for no reason ugh sometimes I think I'm bipolar I'm probably with my mood swings.

I just heard today one of the kids is doing an article on the Michael the guy who was killed from a school bus the same guy who was my friend...I don't know why but I felt so mad when they said they wanted to do an article of his death it made me so mad and sad hell I think I'll talk to Mr. Grace about maybe I can do since I knew the guy yet I don't want to because that would meant I had to talk to his teammates again and seeing them yesterday at the candle lighting made me see how his death has effected him so much.

I don't want to do this article of Michael but in a way I feel like if someone was going to do this it should be me but its a heart breaking thing for me because the thought of Michael still haunts me still makes me so depress that I don't even want to talk about it but I know you have to talk about in order to get over it but still it makes me nervous because I really don't know how to deal with death...I don't think anyone knows how to deal with death but everyone deals with death in a different way.