Its been awhile since I last blog, you'll have to excuse me there lately I just vent on twitter but even there it seem no one cares I have some news that's been going on I might have a new neighbor Jason is supposedly moving into that house so yay I have him as my neighbor note my sarcasm in that sentences he told and I quote "No more of a way of me torturing you in the sense that I would be a lot closer than you thought" Isn't that great. Zack coming home this year for xmas even though I am quite worry about him because it is also when his wife die last year so I need to keep an eye on him he worries me and I just want be a good friend and watch over him like he has for me.
I also wrote something for him and send it to him I suppose you can call it a memory I am fond of and a reminder here I post it on here look down.........................
I suppose you can say this a story or a memory that
I am quite fond of, it’s about some someone I met when I was lonely freshmen in
high school and how this person impacted my life. I guess I’ll start with the
beginning, I had come into Pete Knight freshmen year but it was different I was
alone with no best friends and very scared of a new place, but one thing I felt
safe knowing my older brother Freddy a senior then was going to be there and
although the relationship between my older brother and me is very confusing and
odd but we had a bond. But I will tell you Freddy isn’t your normal older
brother Freddy is very calm and emotionless man wearing a poking face and
raising an iron fist, I would have thought being his little sister Freddy would
help me in high school knowing I am scared and nervous. In the end I was
wrong…you see Freddy only helped me one time, it the first day and told me
where to go I still didn’t know he left and I was on my own looking, safe to
say by the end of the day I was miserable and beyond hurt how my brother
treated me, school was miserable and I hated every minute of it. Luck was on my
side though after 5 weeks or so my last period was P.E. and I was the first in
line for the number line and saw I had an a TA. Little did I know the man
standing in front of me looking down at me was going to be my best friend, my
brother. So after that day I would see this guy walk through the desert just
like me and of course he ignore me he had always seem he was in a hurry and
walked funny he would walk so fast his bag pack would swing back and forth it
was funny to see and I would laugh seeing it.
More weeks past and I got the courage to start
talking to him of course I was scared of him he was big and tall and had this
mean guy look I was scared of him but at the same time I didn’t I’d found out
his name was Zack, and then after that I was completely comfortable with him I
can imagine why would I be comfortable knowing his name well it just felt good
knowing someone name it felt good knowing someone and talking to someone soon
after that I made friends in my P.E. period, then I got the courage and of
course asked shyly to him if it was okay if I walked with through the desert I
was scared he’ll say no but I was wrong he smiled and agreed, at first I didn’t
talk Zack was either talking to his friends Ralf or Eric or Marylyn I didn’t
talk I was just happy walking with someone. Soon enough Zack cracked me and I
started to talk and talk and talk and talk once he got me started I found my
voice and never shut up. Then came the first moment I could trust Zack and knew
he would protect me, I was getting harass by a boy who I found uncomfortable I
didn’t like him but he always but his arm around me just plainly made me
uncomfortable. It would happen right after sixth period then I would meet Zack
at the beginning of the desert walk together until I reach the stop sign and
wait for my mom, my mom knew about how the guy harassing me. So one day Zack
walked me to stop sign and walk away I saw my mom’s car pull up and roll the
window down talking to Zack so I started to walk towards them. By the time I
got there I asked what’s up Zack patted my head and said he’ll tell me
tomorrow.
The following day I’d asked Zack what my mom said to
him, it would seem my mom asked Zack to watch over me to walk me with until she
came so mainly to stay with me until my mom came and he agreed I was touched
honestly here this boy who barely knew me promised to watch over me, that day I
knew Zack was a friend worth having. Fast forward a little bit I was corner by
the guy I’d saw Zack and Ralf coming but Ralf got to me first and ripped me
from the boy’s grasp saving me from more harassment the second time it was Zack
he grab my wrist and pulled me to his side and kept walking even though the boy
was yelling my name, I never seen that boy again ever since I started to walk
with Zack I was left alone for which I am grateful for. After that Zack became
my best friend in my eye and we started to talk more learning about each other
arguing with each other playing around walking home together until my mom came
and gave him rides home keeping me company through the long walk home always
making sure I wasn’t on the edge of the sidewalk making sure I talk my feeling
out just making sure I stay a sane person. My freshmen year wasn’t too bad
although I went through the heart ache of being in love with this guy Kevin,
Zack was there to make me feel better and in a way made me come out my shell to
make new friends which I did and always introduce them to Zack where they too
started to adore his company.
Sophomore year I came back to the school more
comfortable then last time and was super excited to see my friend Zack since I
only saw him once over the summer and just like last year we fell into our
normal after school routine it was perfect I made new friends new classes a new
me. The time I knew Zack was my brother was when I went through I guess a hard
time I found out I failed the CAHSEE math part and it crushed me it was “A”
snack and I was in the library trying so hard to hold the tears back Zack found
me and one glance and he knew something was wrong he’s open his arms for me and
without hesitation I ran into his arms and cry and cry and cry and cry, I never
cried so hard but Zack sat there patiently with me until I stop of course I said
sorry I just soaked his once gray shirt into dark gray shirt but like always he
smiled and patted my head not to worry and gave me words of encouragement that
I can pass it the next time, at that moment I cry again not because of the
CAHSEE but because Zack had become the brother I wanted so badly he’d became
the brother my own brother couldn’t be he was there for his little sister and
that’s when I knew Zack wasn’t just my best friend now he was now my big
brother. Because up until then Freddy never acknowledge at school never said hi
just always ignore me it crushed me and then one time I took matters into my
own hands, I saw Freddy at lunch and got so excited I ran to him and hugged
him, I knew something was wrong when he stiffen and pull away and not even
looking at me told me to go away and never do that again. So if you can imagine
I lost a brother but gain a much better brother but I will always love my older
brother Freddy, Zack will just be the better brother to me. As I was saying
sophomore year was good to me I got my first kiss and telling Zack everything
and him always being so supporting to me I adore him as my brother, always
going to the library with me always waiting patient for me or tolerating my
bipolar self, the end of the year was coming Zack was a senior it was his last
year and I knew next year when I was a junior he wasn’t going to be there. Zack
wasn’t going to be there when I need him no more walking home together no more
goofing around and acting like completely morons mostly me, I just couldn’t
imagine high school without his help without his advice his guidance but as
always Zack patted my head smile and told me I can do it and if I needed
anything I could always text him, and I thought maybe I can do this.
Of course high school wasn’t the same without him
but with Zack believing in me I knew I can do my best in high school junior
year came by Zack join the army and even though I was sad about it I had to
support him like he supported me. I told him how everything was going how
everything was bad happen like how my mom would discourage me and Zack siding
with her with a good point scowling at me like a brother would do with a little
sister, senior year came Zack visited when he could we always kept in touch no
matter what and my goal that year was to have Zack be there for my graduation
but I was scared too because I still haven’t pass my stupid math CAHSEE and I was
worry to disappoint him. Christmas break Zack coming home and had some exciting
news he was going to proposal to the love of his life Liz I was beyond happy
for him and couldn’t wait to go the wedding and just be happy for him he
deserve it. But sometimes fate has other plans, god had decided to take a life
which left Zack heartbroken I won’t go into details it isn’t my place to tell
the tale what happen just say Zack lost something precious to him, I was mad, I
was md at the driver who hit them, I was mad at god or whatever higher power
that is up there I was mad my brother’s happiness was taken from him and he was
suffering I was just mad how cruel the world is. But Zack being how Zack was
different he accepted fate and knew she was in a better place looking down on
him, and with that Zack was a different man still the same but off key. May
came fast and next thing I knew I was graduating from high school and found out
I had pass the CAHSEE telling Zack before my own mom and was so excited for him
to know I did it, I pass it. With the news I was able to walk I got more great
news Zack was going to be at my graduation.
I was beyond happy I was walking; I was going to
grad nite and have my best friend see me walk in graduation I couldn’t ask for
more. It’s because one person, one man
who change the difference in me one man who had fate in me when I felt one no
one did. When I felt hopelessly sad and discourage from everyone else he was
there to give me a hug and tell me I can do this, he was my big brother when my
own brother wasn’t there for me when I needed him the most, he took the role
and has been the best job possible, aha there are moments when he would scowl
me but only because he need what was best for me when I acted pig headed brat
he did it because I’m his little sister. And finally I had a role model brother
to look up sure he isn’t the best one but he is in my eyes. I’m glad this guy
who was a total stranger to me in the beginning and I would never thought he
would be someone so important me aha he became my savior, I honestly don’t what
I have done if Zack Carvajal wasn’t in my life. Zack you’re my brother, you
know I am always here for you just how you were there for me! I love you big
brother and I am so proud to say we’re friends, I sometimes randomly cry
because I do miss you and worry about you a lot and I think about messaging you
see how you’re doing but I think maybe he’s busy aha I’m sorry for that,
everything I most do I think what would Zack think? I’ll love you forever and
I’m sorry to say you’re stuck with me forever bud.
So this is for you Zack, my best friend, my big
brother, my family. I took long saying this but Thank You, thank you Zack thank
you so much for being there for me thank you for everything you done for me.
I’m lucky to have you in my life, I treasure that fact in my life :)
